A Loving Kindness Practice

Feeling compassion and kindness for loved ones, a sweet baby, or our furry friends can come so naturally. More often than not, it seems the one we have the hardest time being loving and kind toward is that one we see reflected back in the mirror. For me, cultivating self-compassion and self-kindness has been one of the (if not the) biggest growing edge in my life - and certainly an ongoing practice. Sure, it's easy to love myself when i'm feeling good, in the flow, and making empowered choices left and right. But those times when i'm in a rut, facing patterns of fear, or experiencing anxieties and perceptions of limitation... weeeeell, in those moments I really struggle to find that radical acceptance and unconditional love that comes so naturally to my Soul.

I would like to share a practice that I have found to be incredibly supportive in cultivating more compassion toward myself, as well as kindness and love for others. If you have heard of a metta meditation or loving-kindness meditation, this practice is very similar, but is in written form.

Here's how it goes:

1. Whether on your laptop, in a journal, or a scrap piece of paper, write down the name of someone in your life who it is easy to feel kindness toward. Choose someone who does't evoke emotional stress or mental concern. Instead, pick someone who you have an uncomplicated, supportive relationship with. This might be a favorite aunt, a close friend, a deceased grandparent, or even a special pet. Jot their name down, and then below write out these phrases:
   

"NAME, may you be blessed with unconditional love. May you be blessed with all the joy your heart desires. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be peaceful. May you be free."

Next, begin to list and send respect to any pains, struggles, or uncomfortable feelings this person (or animal) have experienced or are enduring now. You can write them out as:

"I honor your FILL IN THE BLANK... I honor your FILL IN THE BLANK...I honor your FILL IN THE BLANK."

For instance, it might look like:

"I honor your insecurities. I honor your grief. I honor your compulsiveness. I honor your shame."

Write out as many as you can think of that come to mind and feel relevant to this person. As you write each, really imagine that you are sending kindness and compassion from your heart to each of their struggles. If this feels challenging to authentically send respect, try imagining yourself as your Higher Self as you write.

After writing about 5-10 challenges that you honor in this person, choose another person in your life. This time, choose an acquaintance - someone you don't know well but interact with from time-to-time. Again, I invite you to choose someone you don't feel emotional stress around or have a complicated relationship with. This might be your neighbor, local barista, neighborhood delivery person, or a bus driver. Then repeat the same steps as before, writing out blessings for unconditional love, for all the joy their heart's desire, and for happiness, health, peace, and freedom. Since you likely don't know this person well enough to specifically recognize all of their challenges, you can keep the next step generic, such as:

"I honor your pain. I honor your discomfort. I honor your struggles. I honor your suffering."

Once you feel complete with this person, we finally turn our loving kindness toward ourselves. Allow the momentum of good will from the previous two people to be a springboard for focussing greater love and compassion toward yourself. We write:

"May I be blessed with unconditional love. May I be blessed with all the joy my heart desires. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be peaceful. May I be free."

Then, once again take time to honor and respect your own perceived shortcomings and struggles, with the intention of really bringing greater compassion to your humanness. Just like the loved one and acquaintance you focused upon, we are all human, and we are all doing the best we can given where we are in consciousness.

"I honor my pain. I honor my depression. I honor my anger. I honor my sadness. I honor my impatience. I honor my apathy."

Once you feel complete in honoring your past and current challenges that come to mind, read through what you have written. I like to read mine out loud, with my hand on my heart. As you read, I invite you to set the intention to send out loving energy and kindness from your heart center.

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of kindness. You are worthy of good will. Your humanness is beautiful. I honor you. I love you.